Keep It Coming

Our family definitely needs your prayers. Just pray that Heavenly Father keeps sustaining us and brings us peace in our difficult journey ahead. We thank each one of you that celebrated our family blessing and we know that so many of you are mourning with us now. Milton is a lot stronger than me in all this. I wish I could be like that. Many of you will probably not see me for a while. I just don't want to talk about it. What's done is done. I am doing everything I can to hold it together and stay strong in faith and talking about it is just too hard. I know many of you want to know the details. There are not many. The birth father wants the baby and as we all know if he wants it he gets it and now the birth mother will be getting her rights back. Sometimes there is no justice in this world.

I know many of you want to bring us dinner. I am so thankful for the gesture but I honestly do not want dinner. We have had so many people buy us baby gifts and do so much for us.  I already feel indebted and dinner would just make me feel more indebted. One day when I can talk about it I will tell you the story of the two glorious months that I had the privileged to be called a mom. I hope my story helps everyone that reads this blog know what a divine and special calling it is to be called mother. How lucky you are that Heavenly Father found you worthy enough to bestow that blessing on you. Cherish every moment of it. Even the hard times. I would give the best day of my life for the hardest day of yours of being a mother.  I would give it all just to experience the chaotic hectic and bone tired days just to be able to be given that opportunity to have that most sacred roll.

I won't lie. I am a little broken. I will never be the same again. I can't! I think when you open your heart up over and over again and to have it crushed over and over again that you can not be the same person. Trials change you. Sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse.  I use to have such faith in people.  That most people will do the right thing, that they honestly do not mean to hurt you. I know longer have that faith.  I now recognize that everyone in this world will run you over to get what they want and then reverse right over just to make sure your good and crushed.

Thanks for all the pep talks, prayers, fasting, well wishes, sympathy, and so much more.  for now this girl is done!